YOU MIGHT BE A RACER.....

From the twisted annals of the hit comedian Joe Desert Worthy comes.....

This month's list of "You might be a desert racer if:"

You might be a desert racer if......

If your kid asked for a dog and you got him a KX80 instead.

If you refer to your wife as your sponsor.

If you've ever poured $5 a gallon pre-mix in your truck to get home from a race.

If the only football stadium you ever been in had a super cross track in the middle of it.

If you think scorpions are cool.

If you think 'Johnny Air Time' is a cool name for your first born.

If you show off old race injuries like they were pictures of your kids.

If you have had to use metal pins to hold body parts together until they healed.

If you've raced with the metal pins still in.

If you ever asked Santa Clause to bring you a new piston and rings.

If your dirt bike costs more than your truck.

If you buy your clothing at sign-up.

If you've ever had to have Rotto Rooter clean the sand out of your shower drain.

If you'd ride 40 miles across the desert to eat at a bar that you wouldn't use the bathroom in - but you'll eat there.

If Motocross Cat is your hero.

If you make two-stroke noises when you walk around corners.

If you run pre-mix race gas in your lawn mower.

If you see someone stranded in the middle of the desert in July and you don't stop. And you're happy about it.

If you can quote scenes from 'ON ANY SUNDAY'.

If you are only comfortable taking a dump when you're in a Port -O - Let.

If you ever saw your buddy go over the bars and could'nt stop laughing long enough to see if he was OK.

If you ever bought a used bike just for the forks.

If you've ever made fun of a Husky.

If you've ever gone to a National Park and wished you had a dirt bike.

If your favorite part of a desert race is passing gas around the campfire.

dU pHANTOM 1994